Revenge of a Medic
by xRae Asakurax
Summary: In which Ratchet doesn't rant for once, Sideswipe squeals, Sunstreaker goes 'whee' and Wheeljack's just confused. Crack, no pairings.


**Rae:** I realized just now I put this up on DA, but didn't put it up here... usually it's the other way round!

**Dark:** You realize you're going to have both boys on your back now, right?

**Rae:** Yeah, I know. It'll have been worth it. I don't own Transformers, the privilage belongs to Hastak. Dedicated to my adopted sister Mercury, for a bit of cheering up!

* * *

Ratchet straightened and wiped his hands briefly on small cloth, giving his patients a last critical once-over. He nodded, satisfied, and waved a wrench at his two most frequent visitors as he started putting his tools away.

"Primus damn it all, you two, if you come back with any more _ridiculous_ injuries like that I'll reformat you in your recharge into something unpleasant."

"You've been threatening us with that for vorns, Ratch, and you still haven't made good on it despite the number of times we've been back here," rebutted Sideswipe, grinning in a way that was both mischievous and innocent. An expression only he could pull off. Sunstreaker slid silently off his own berth, stretching his limbs and making sure they all functioned as they should. Ratchet huffed and turned away from them.

"Out. Both of you. I've got better things to do than waste my time fixing you glitch-heads and throwing wrenches every time I see you," he said. He heard a quiet snicker from them both and the medbay doors hiss open, then creak closed as the twin terrors left. Wheeljack popped his head round the corner, earfins flashing in amusement.

"Dare I ask?"

"No." Ratchet settled himself in front of his terminal to start writing up and filing his long list of waiting reports. Wheeljack raised an optic ridge.

"I'm surprised; usually you spend the next few breems ranting about how stupid those two are," he said, dimly flashing earfins and the crinkling of his optics giving away his teasing grin. Ratchet shook his head and a smirk played at the white lips.

"Yeah, well, I've got to get these done or Prime'll rip me a new one. Besides," he added, "they're in for a bit of a surprise. Call it some payback."

Wheeljack cocked his head to one side, waiting for an explanation that never came. He shrugged and decided to go back to his lab and work on his current project some more; he'd find out sooner or later just what Ratchet had up his proverbial sleeve.

--

::D'you know, I think this is only the second time we've been out on patrol together,:: remarked Sideswipe to his twin as they clocked themselves out of the Ark. Sunstreaker sent him a look.

::That's because Prowl knows I get enough of you outside of duty. Primus knows I don't need to deal with you inside it too.::

::Oh that's just harsh, bro.:: Sideswipe feigned a hurt expression, splaying his fingers exaggeratedly over his windshield. ::I thought you loved me!::

::Keep dreaming, aft-head,:: was his reply, but he could feel Sunny's amusement filtering through their bond. He snickered and transformed in tandem with his brother, before roaring out of the base in an attempt to coax the yellow warrior into a race. Only to slam on his brakes in horror and cause Sunny to transform back almost immediately, raucous laughter making his frame vibrate.

"What the slag was that?!" The red Lamborghini yelled, looking very much like a petulant child.

"I don't know," gasped Sunstreaker between fits of giggles, "but your expression...!"

Sideswipe glowered at the other half of his Spark and cautiously revved his engine again. The resulting unnatural squeal made Sunstreaker near helpless in his mirth, while his twin frantically checked his sytems for anything that was wrong. The scans all came back clear.

"You try your engine then, slagger!" He snapped at Sunny, who pulled himself together enough to rev his engine as hard as he could.

As soon as he did, though, all the laughter left him. Instead of the heady thrum of the powerful motor hidden underneath his chassis, it was accompanied by a sound that could only be described as a 'whee'. Something in his engine was 'whee'ing at him! His optics narrowed and a dark frown graced his handsome features. This time, it was Sideswipe who was doubled over guffawing.

::Dude, yours is i_way_/i worse than mine!::

::Oh mute it,:: was the sour reply. ::What the frag is going on?::

::I'll be damned if I know.:: Sideswipe's sniggers eased, and he straightened to look his twin in the optics. ::Seems someone's pulled one over on us.::

"The pranksters have been pranked, huh?" Mused the golden twin out loud. ::But where the hell's it coming from?::

::I dunno, but we got patrol to do.::

--

"Oh, that's _it_!" Sunny finally snarled, transforming and skidding to a halt. He watched his brother do the same a ways away, and come back with a questioning look. "This is humiliating," the yellow twin growled. "People have been staring and laughing at us for the past joor and a half. I refuse to drive any longer while my engine 'whee's at me!"

Sideswipe gently nipped at his brother's headfin before starting to run fingers gently down it; he knew they were sensitive, and physical contact usually helped to calm him. Sunstreaker's expression went from murderous to an annoyed frown in a couple of minutes, and the red twin took that point to sigh.

"I know. It is humiliating." He patted Sunny's shoulder. ::Let's try this. Rev your engine again, and I'll see if I can pin-point it.:: Sunny did, and Sideswipe let loose another snicker before he reigned back his amusement and walked around the sulking mech, prodding every so often. Sunny cut the protesting whine of his not-in-gear engine pretty soon, letting it fall back to its idle purring and stopping the 'whee'ing that was really beginning to frag him off. ::It doesn't sound like it's coming from the engine itself,:: commented the red warrior. He placed a hand on Sunny's back plate, letting it rest there for a brief moment to let the other know what he was doing before it was unclasped and lifted up, and Sunstreaker shivered at the cool air suddenly hitting internal wires and machinery.

There was silence, and then a growl. ::Looks like repairs weren't the only thing Ratch gave us.:: Sunny felt a sharp tug at the exhaust port of his engine, and a grunt of protest escaped him before he could silence it. His back plate was lowered and secured into place, before a small piece of gray and black metal appeared before his face. He took it off Sideswipe as more a surprised reaction to something being shoved in his vision than curiosity, but a quick examination of the object made him realize fairly quickly what Sideswipe meant. He raised an optic ridge.

::An autowhistle? Seriously?::

::Seriously. Now, couldja get mine out so we can go ream Hatchet for this?::

::Gladly.::

--

Wheeljack jumped a mile when two highly irritated and in-sync voices roared out, "**RATCHET!**" from the hallway outside the medbay. He glanced nervously the CMO sitting opposite him, but was surprised to see a smug expression and a raised optic ridge adorning his friend's faceplates.

"It took them slagging long enough," was all he lightly said. "I do hope Red recorded it like I requested."

* * *

**Rae:** Ratchet's good at pranks too! Betcha never knew that ;) Reviews will save the authoress from frag knows how many Twin-instigated pranks!


End file.
